A second marriage can be a fresh start – but are you ready for it? Read our handy tips for making your second marriage your last...
Getting into a relationship can feel like a wonderful whirlwind of emotions at the start. But when the proverbial dust settles, how do you that you and your loyal companion are in it for the long-haul? Knowing when you’ve entered into committed relationship territory can be a bit vague, but there are some tell-tale signs that reveal the dedication. We’ve penned 10 of them here so you can gauge the depth of your love!
How do you know you’re in a committed relationship?
You’ve been dating for a good few months now, maybe even a year. And now you’re starting to ponder what exactly it is, you are. This isn’t some sort of metaphysical mystery, it’s a legit relationship question to put to a bond that’s going strong and racking up miles on the love-o-meter. So, if you’re wondering whether you’re truly ensconced in a committed relationship, we’ve chalked up a collection of the best indicators that show your love is built on a solid ground.
You start holidaying together
Let’s get underway with a topic that most people enjoy; going on vacation! Holidaying together signals a committed relationship for a number of reasons. Firstly, it shows that you’re both happy spending an extended amount of time in each other’s company. Secondly, planning a trip away involves a degree of dialogue and compromise, particularly when it comes to deciding on where to go. Lastly, you’re hopefully making happy memories together!
For many folks, family is an incredibly important part of life. For sure, family can be challenging, but if your partner’s introducing you to them, you can be confident that you’re in a committed relationship. When a partner invites you to meet their family (and vice versa), they’re saying they trust you enough to let you access an incredibly personal space. Whether you’re meeting their parents for the first time or spending an afternoon with their kids, it shows you both have belief in your bond.
From me to we
Maybe this pointer is a little bit esoteric, but it’s definitely worthy of a spot in our top 10. When you’re in a committed relationship, you lose the egocentricity often associated with singledom. That doesn’t mean you stop being you. It’s more to say that a special kind of oneness flourishes between you and your partner. Instead of seeing things through the lens of me, you start to understand the world as we. You start seeing yourselves as a unit fit for journeying through life side-by-side.
Gross things don’t phase you
It might be wise to stop reading right now you’re eating your lunch. This pointer is a tell-tale sign of a committed relationship; yes, all those gruesome-but-human behaviours and bodily functions don’t bother you anymore. In terms of relationship milestones, belching beside your lover on the couch might not be a standout benchmark, but being comfortable talking about and exhibiting topics you’d usually keep to yourself shows a degree of closeness that doesn’t yet exist in new relationships.
Under the one roof
One of the more obvious formalities of a committed relationship is moving in together, though this is by no means saying it’s any less momentous. For many people, cohabiting is no longer synonymous with matrimony, but it still signals a clear-cut decision that you’re willing to share a huge trench of your waking hours together. Whether you’re renting an apartment or buying a house, living together is truly a sign that you’re both sincere about each other, and the longevity of your relationship!
Following on from cohabiting, getting familiar financially is also a marker that you’ve moved into the committed relationship zone. Calling out shared accounts and joint loans as markers of devotion may seem a bit glum, but it doesn’t have be; they show that you’ve both reached a level of trust and mutual respect that you’re willing to tackle an area of adulthood that can invite a lot of stress. The same goes for taking on a mortgage or buying a car. Fun times!
Social media starts to overlap
Suggesting that a shift in social media activity highlights a committed relationship might make some people shudder, and fair enough. However, there can be no denying that our internet identities have become a huge part of our own lived selves, along with the person we project outwards to friends and family. Posting pictures together or changing your relationship status may sound trivial, but they do carry a certain symbolism too. Is nothing sacred in the age of the emoji?!
Doing the extra mileage
Going out of your way for other people is all part and parcel of being a decent person, but when it comes to a committed relationship, it’s the preset. You know you’ve reached a certain stage in your relationship when doing something out of the ordinary for your partner doesn’t feel like you’re busting a gut. Instead, it’s an effortless decision. The key distinction here is that you do things for each other because you want to do them, not because you need to.
You get their perspective
You might confuse this point with the me/we distinction we made earlier on, but there’s a crucial difference. In order to be able to fully become the we, you need to be able to understand your partner’s point of view on certain issues, ranging from the trivial all the way up to the important. Being able to empathise with your other halves’ way of seeing the world takes time, but when it clicks into place, you’ll realise communicating becomes much more nuanced.
You start planning for the future
Falling in love is a huge moment in a relationship. However, it’s when you start planning a future together that that initial burst of butterflies settles down and switches to long-haul mode. Regardless of how old you are – whether you’re in your 30s and thinking about starting a family, or in your 60s and thinking about retirement – the very fact that you’re building a framework for forever (that takes both of your wishes and dreams into account) demonstrates that it’s a committed relationship!