9 steps to get your dating confidence back
1. Let bad experiences go
You’ve had some bad experiences in the past with online dating, right? To be honest, most people have. But it’s what you do next that counts. You can either let those bad dating experiences go on to define your dating journey or you can shrug them off, put them behind you and move on with a spring in your step and a positive attitude (read on to find out how you can do that).
2. Transform you inner critic into your inner cheerleader
As you try to shrug off your bad dating experiences, keep an ear out for your inner critic. What’s it saying to you? It might be saying things like:
Every date you’ve been on has failed. Why bother?
You’re terrible at first dates.
Why would they like you over all the other gorgeous people out there?
Argh – your inner critic, if left to its own devices, will control how you feel about yourself and will gradually wear down your confidence levels. So, you need to take charge and do it quickly. To do this, first you need to actively listen out for it and then you need to stop it in its tracks. Write down what you’re hearing - it will be a shock for you to see it written down, then find evidence that proves otherwise. Finally, replace your inner critic’s beliefs with affirmations – turn your inner critic into your very own cheerleader. For example you could replace the above inner critic’s beliefs with the following:
Every date is a new adventure and one day, you’re going to meet someone who blows you away. You only need one.
You’re a natural at first dates
Why wouldn’t they like you, you’re brilliant.
It almost doesn’t matter if you believe them or not at the beginning, the very act of saying them in your head and drowning out the inner critic will make you believe them. Initially you’ll have to make a real conscientious effort to do this, but with practice it will get easier and easier. Honestly, this really works and if you’re in any doubt, then I’d suggest you just give it a go.
READ MORE: Learn about our best dating tips for women