Redefining romance: how to be romantic today
Modern romance: survey reveals romance is still relevant
Let's start with the good news: romance is not dead. An overwhelming majority of men and women still believe in romance. 95% of the men and women surveyed believe that romance is still relevant today. Moreover, 90% of women and 92% of men say that they consider themselves to be romantic.
People still want to be romanced, and not only do people still believe in romance, they think it is important in relationships. 70% of women say that they think romance makes the world go around, with only 10% seeing it as soppy drivel.
How to be romantic in the 21st century
Although romance is still relevant, the EliteSingles survey suggests it has been redefined today. The old clichés have given way to reflect the modern woman, and modern love is shown to be a much more practical and personal affair. Although the tradition of romance is going strong, it’s out with the old and in with the new, especially if you are trying to impress a woman!
Contrary to popular belief, women don’t want flowers or chocolates. In fact, less than 1% of women consider chocolate treats to be romantic, while only 9% are blown away by flowers. Today, it turns out the best way to be romantic, is to be actively involved in your partner’s work life. For more than two-thirds of women surveyed, modern romance is grounded in the day-to-day of work. 68% would pick a partner that shows a genuine and constant interest in their career and work life, over a partner who surprises them with a bunch of flowers every week.
Not only has romance become far more pragmatic in what women really want, it is also about the individual and personal ways of saying 'I love you'. The mass-minded approach of stereotypical romantic gestures no longer turn up the heat. Today, with an endless list of options, customisations and variations, the secret of how to be romantic is to individualise your romance. Nearly a third of women (30%) desire something that is unique and spontaneous, preferring personalised gestures over flowers, chocolates, theatre tickets and even hotel stays.
Zoe Coetzee, in-house relationship psychologist at EliteSingles comments: “In today’s modern world, traditional romantic gestures no longer sweep a lady off her feet. Women are less impressed by clichés like flowers and chocolates. Not only do they buy their own, but they consider the most coveted commodity to be unique and personalised surprises. This reveals how well your partner knows you and spontaneity gets the heart racing. Making a memorable moment is the priceless present creating meaningful romance today”.
She goes on to say that when it comes to romance, nothing should be generic. “You have to find your individual on buttons,” Coetzee advises. “Ask yourself what would mean a lot to your partner specifically? Is there something that only they would enjoy or an in-joke only they would understand? That’s what makes someone feel really special. The fact that you know details that no one else does.”
Be a real romantic: the expert ways you can revive romance
Even though a majority of men and women value romance and consider themselves romantic, the idea of not getting it quite right can be stressful. For the 18% of women and 27% of men who admit to feeling pressure to be romantic, Coetzee shares some practical tips on how to be romantic today: