The truth about breaking up

Sadly, dealing with break ups is part and parcel of the search for a compatible partner. But why do people decide to end relationships? When can you be sure it’s the right thing to do? And how should you go about it? We spoke to 1900 EliteSingles members in order to find out the ins and outs of their previous break ups… and discovered the surprising prevalence of regret.

We asked EliteSingles members the big questions:

WHY do break ups happen?

How can two people go from being in love to breaking up? What are the reasons that push a perfectly healthy relationship to breaking point? Singles were asked the various reasons for ending previous relationships. Sixty-one percent said they’d ended a relationship due to a partner’s lack of love and attention, 26% due to a partner’s poor sexual performance, 25% due to falling in love with someone else, 15% due to a partner’s lack of career and 15% due to their personal desire to try the single life.

WHEN do you know you’re ready to break up?

Of course, it's common to experience a period of contemplation, where you ask yourself if you really want to end your relationship. In our survey, 52% of singles said they made the decision within a 1-3 month period, 19% within 3-6 months, 14% within 6-12 months, 7% within 1-2 years, while 9% said they took more than two years to make the final decision to go through with the break up. 

HOW should you go about breaking up with someone?

The saying goes that honesty is the best policy, but do people really stick to this when it comes to ending a relationship? According to the survey, it seems singles aren’t always forthcoming when it came to telling their partners the rationale behind their decision; though 70% of singles said you should be completely honest to your partner (even if it means hurting their feelings), 56% of singles admitted to being dishonest during previous break up conversations. 

As for the means of communicating a break up, face-to-face conversation is the only way to go. Seventy-three percent of survey respondents said a phone call is unacceptable, with email and SMS receiving 88% and 91% disapproval respectively. 

READ MORE: The four secrets to finding love!

WHERE do you put those relationship relics? 

Over the course of a relationship - the birthdays, anniversaries and Christmases - gifts really add up. So what should you do with those relationship relics after the relationship has ended? 71% of singles said it’s appropriate to keep gifts despite the relationship ending, 22% said they should be given back and 8% said they should be destroyed or given away!

The survey revealed WHAT!? 

A shocking finding from the survey was that 39% of singles admitted regretting breaking up with a previous partner. The study showed that men seem to regret their decision more often than women, with 43% of male singles admitting they regretted dumping a previous partner, compared with 34% of women.

A further surprising finding was that 1 in 3 singles have continued a sexual relationship despite breaking up with their partner. This isn’t recommended though – 38% said they regretted doing so.

Survey source: 1900 EliteSingles members ,51% male, 49% female.

Total votes: 168
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