Falling out of love can be terribly saddening for both parties involved. But how do you know if the relationship has ended, or you’re simply going through a rough patch? EliteSingles’ Psychologist Salama Marine gives her advice.
In a recent poll of 500 Australian singles, 32% of singles admitted that they had been in a loveless relationship, and a staggering 52% said that these loveless relationships lasted more than 5 years! If you count yourself among these statistics, you may be wondering whether the relationship is still salvageable, or whether you should cut your losses and move on to greener pastures.
Should I stay or should I go?
Marine advises to ask yourself the following:
1) Is your partnership rewarding, or are you giving up your freedom for relatively little return?
2) Are you really attached to your partner, or simply to the idea of a partnership?
3) Can you rely on your partner, or do you feel alone when times get tough?
4) Are you satisfied with your sex life?
Reflect on the answers to these questions and ask yourself if you are in the partnership for the right reasons. Is there enough there to build upon in the future? Be warned – if you’ve been brave enough to ask yourselves the questions, be prepared to listen to the answers!
Are you falling out of love?
If you really feel that you’re falling out of love, it may well be time to act upon it. After all, if you’re in a relationship in which you see no real future, you’re only robbing yourself of time to meet someone who really suits you.
Many singles opt to stay in dead-end relationships despite their turmoil. So keep an eye out for the five main reasons people tend to stay in unhappy relationships:
- For the sake of the kids
- Fear of being alone
- Financial reasons
- Fear of what people will think
If you can relate to these excuses, and have decided to end your relationship, don’t be afraid: singles who’ve admitted to themselves that they’ve fallen out of love and had the courage to walk away from the relationships tend to glean a positive, new outlook. In fact, 85% of EliteSingles members who abandoned a dead-end relationship said they believed the big love of their life was still ahead of them.
Fight for the relationship if it’s worth it
On the other hand, if you feel that there’s still something to fight for in the relationship, go for it – 81% of EliteSingles members told us they believe it is possible to bring love back into a relationship. The survey also revealed the top three ways to reverse falling out of love: seek professional help (said 47% of respondents), go on holidays together (24%) or take a break from each other (23%).
When you’re deciding whether or not to walk away from a relationship, remember that being in a partnership is not a passive process – the state of your relationship is in your control. As Marine says, ‘Love isn’t a case of ‘there one day, gone the next’ – you need to work on it every day.’