Psst. Want to hear a secret? Okay, but keep it quiet: geek dating is the answer to your problems. Leave your apprehensions at the door; we’ve come a long way from the days of Homer Simpson merrily hurling abuse at nearby poindexters. In 2017, geekishness is next to godliness – almost literally if we consider the nigh-unfathomable impact that tech giants like Google, Facebook and Amazon have had on our daily lives. Today, even the most technophobic old troglodyte is only a birthday iPhone away from morphing into an app-savvy wunderkind. We’re all nerd dating, whether we know it or not.
So then, we’ve established the fact that literally everyone is a bit of a nerd these days, and that pretty much all of us, we voracious mouse-clickers and status-posters, would be swiftly nipple-tweaked and wedgied by Danny Zuko et al were we to mooch back in time a few decades. Geek dating is the norm, and that, friends, is a cause for celebration. Because dating a geek is totally wizard.
Feast your eyes on the marvellously formatted list below detailing precisely why geek dating is so addictive. But first:
Now, we have made it this far in our bold exploration of the merits of geek dating based on one rather large assumption: that we all agree on what a geek and/or nerd is. Well then, in the interest of ironing out any potential misunderstandings, let us consult that dusty old grimoire, the Oxford English dictionary.
- 1An unfashionable or socially inept person.
- 1.1usually with modifier A knowledgeable and obsessive enthusiast.
Excellent stuff; we can now all agree on what a geek is. According to this definition, Kim Kardashian is categorically not a geek, while Mark Zuckerberg most definitely is. Stephen Fry manages to walk the tightrope of being clever and interesting while also reasonably lucid and unflustered after thirty seconds of idle chatter in an elevator, and thus we shall place him somewhere in the realms of nerd-lite. Nerdiness, we have therefore discovered, is a spectrum; a spectrum upon which we all are scattered, like a deck of anime playing cards upon a sticky dining room table. So what can be gained from coupling up with a geek?
No need to play it cool
Do you know what’s incredibly uncool? Trying to be cool. See, being cool 24/7 requires effort, and everyone knows that effort is for nerds. Therefore, if we trace this odd helter-skelter of what classifies as cool and uncool to its logical conclusion, we are left with the warming realisation that, actually, the coolest people of all are those society would dub as nerds – the ones who like what they like and couldn’t care less what the rest of us have to say about it.
Forget all those hipsters with their ironic handlebar moustaches and their rejection of mainstream coffee and beer while somehow justifying purchasing every product that Steve Jobs ever created; when you date a nerd, you can relax. You don’t have to spend hours agonising over your image, and you can stop pretending that you know what bands people are talking about. Try it out now, say it out loud: “Erm, no, I haven’t heard the new Alt J album.” Such refreshing honesty! Doesn’t it feel great?
Embrace your own inner dweeb
It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly when being a massive nerd became totally acceptable, however a likely catalyst for the Great Nerd Revolution is the omnipresent TV series Game of Thrones. Admit it, you love it. We all do; the UK in 2017 is utterly bonkers for dragons and wizards and furious bearded men stabbing one another, even more than we were back in the Dark Ages. The seed of dweebdom is already within you, deftly planted by portly wordsmith George R R Martin, and dating a geek gives you the gleeful freedom to blossom into a fully fledged, unrepentant dork.
Do you recall, back in high school, the most gorgeous guy or girl in your year? Every school has one; that perfectly coiffed dreamboat, yawning in maths lessons, loitering outside the school gates with a casual cigarette, coming up with fabulously dry excuses for forgetting their homework that have the whole class guffawing – did you ever actually have an extended conversation with that person? I’ll answer for you: no, you did not. That is because these kinds of cool people have very little to say that isn’t related to the whiteness of their own teeth.
When you’re geek dating, you’re free from the weighty shackles of dull conversation. Banished are monotonous soliloquies on the sheer scandal of Sarah copping off with Brad at the party last weekend. Now that we’re all just a bunch of geeks dating nerds dating geeks, the whole world is our conversational oyster! Philosophy, geography, history, politics, religion, chemistry, theatre, art, music, literature: date a geek, and revel in unlimited conversational possibility!
Exciting new hobbies
You know when you go to the local park and there’s always a bunch of five or six people in bare feet taking turns to balance on a bit of rope suspended between two trees? That bit of rope is called a slackline, and if you dive into nerd dating you can bet your ears that you’ll end up teetering around on one at some point.
Going out with a person with nerdic tendencies, you may find yourself thrust into a slew of new shared hobbies including, but not limited to: video game marathons, role playing games, fan fiction, astronomy, larping (Google it), coding, and, dare we say it, possibly even a spot of ‘talk nerdy to me’ themed bedroom dress-uppery.
Learn stuff, get smart
Going by the earlier definition of what it means to be a geek, it’s fair to make the assumption you will absorb a good deal of information via osmosis as you paddle around in the fountain of juicy knowledge that is your other half. Those clouds that you’re staring up at together, picking out cute shapes? They’re actually cirrus clouds, with a smattering of cumulus in the distance. And that gentle summer breeze caressing your arm – did you know that relative to its land area, the United Kingdom has more tornadoes than any other country? Oh, frabjous day, so much to learn and so little time!
And thus, with our list of reasons why nerd dating is so wonderful completed, it is time for us to part ways, as Gandalf tragically parted with the Fellowship in the Mines of Moria (retrospective spoiler alert). And if you would like to meet the Arwen to your Aragorn, the Han to your Leia, the Doctor to your Rose Tyler? Join EliteSingles of course!